Saturday, November 06, 2010

Another fall from grace.




A local priest was arrested this past Thursday for exposing himself to an undercover policeman in a gay cruising area in the Twin Cities.  The priest resigned his position as pastor.  Please keep the priest and his parish in your prayers.  It must surely be devastating for all concerned. 

The more things change, the more they remain the same - just remember that.  Remain steadfast in the faith and be vigilant.
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That's all.

The Pope in Santiago De Compostela, Spain: No pilgrim's shell for you!



There he is, Pope Benedict at Compostella, looking all cute - but he should not get a pilgrim's shell and certificate for making the pilgrimage.  Why?  Because he didn't walk there.  That is why I couldn't get one.  I walked part way but I started out on a train, and I also hitch-hiked part way.  LOL!  I didn't care and I'm just teasing about the Holy Father.
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I'm thrilled the Holy Father is there - as is Angelo - my friend in Spain.  Compostella enshrines the relics of Santiago - St. James - and the shrine is highly significant in Spanish and European culture.  St. James is credited with driving out the Moors... so it will be interesting if the Holy Father discusses Islam at all.
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Perhaps more thrilling for me, he will travel to Barcelona to consecrate the Cathedral of the Holy Family - Sagrada Familia - Antoni Gaudi's wondrous masterpiece, still under construction.

Friday, November 05, 2010

Holier than the Church.


I declare that I have no intent to acknowledge, distribute or encourage anything contrary to Sacred Scripture, Sacred Tradition and the teachings of the Roman Catholic Church and the Apostolic See. I submit myself and all the contents of this blog to the judgment of the Church.


You can't be holier than the Church.
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A Superior of the Little Sisters of the Poor once used that expression after offering me some candy on a Sunday and I refused it, explaining to her I was fasting, she replied,   "That is commendable, but remember one cannot be holier than the Church, and the Church does not fast on Sundays."  She wasn't attempting to correct me - sister let me fast - she was just teaching me that one cannot be above what the Church teaches, one cannot be holier than the Church.  Many people believe they can be more wise or Catholic than the pope, or the bishops, and perhaps they can, but no one can be holier than the Church.  No private devotion is above the prayer of the Church, and to be authentic, it must be united to the Church.  Personal opinion and education cannot be the criteria for discernment in matters of faith and morals.
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Today there are many authorities out there, on blogs and Catholic TV and videos - with many qualifying initials behind their names - correcting and instructing bishops and priests and laity alike.  Many promoting their personal and private interpretations of popular piety and even canon law, frequently they refer to the encyclicals of all the popes to defend their positions on the faith.  They are very smart people.  Very smart.
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I'm not that smart.  Please keep that in mind when you read this blog that I am just a blogger - not a teacher, not an authority.  I write my opinion on things I know - albeit my knowledge may be limited to personal experience and ordinary education - I am open to correction.  Far be it from me to tell anyone what to believe or how to live their life.  I belong to no groups outside of a couple of confraternities, and a third order - in which I am relatively inactive.  I don't have initials after my name, I'm not an urban hermit, despite the fact people might consider me to be reclusive, I have no canonical religious status - I'm an ordinary Catholic Christian.  And I want nothing more than that.
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That said, I have encountered many, many religious people in my life, some of whom must have been saints, but many more who wanted to be but they fell into error - some into serious error.  Why?  I think because some of the curious ones allowed themselves to follow novelties and spiritual recreations that led them away from solid spiritual teaching, venturing off the narrow way; others because they were very impressed by their own intelligence, accomplishments and aspirations.  Some are still alive, convinced they are spiritual masters, mystics, teachers, and so on.  I know of two who have died - one appears to have died a holy  death.  The other died outside the Church.
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A few years ago, a group of the more Catholic than the pope types proceeded to exorcise the Cathedral of St. Paul after a group of gay people disrupted the liturgy.  They poured holy oils and exorcism salt around the church while praying exorcism prayers.  (One of the suspects had a restraining order served on him to keep him out of the Basilica of St. Mary.)  Any Roman Catholic can see how absolutely insane that pretend exorcism was, and any Catholic who knows his catechism knows that only a priest, deputed by the local ordinary can perform an exorcism.  Nevertheless these people continue to decry and detract the reputation of local pastors - without authority and without proof - they have set themselves up as a private inquisition, a non-canonical judge and jury.  A couple of the more traditional priests (locally) are sympathetic to these guys, and at least one of them who used to perform deliverance sessions with these rather unstable types, would seem to see the devil behind just about every column in the cathedral. 
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BTW:  I just read a blog post by another 'lone-ranger' priest telling bishops how to teach.  Interesting.
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So anyway - don't tell me I place personal discernment above the Holy See.   I always defer to the Holy See - but never ever to the blogisterium, irrespective of your academic achievement, lineage of titles, Catholic pedigree, choice of worship, or correctness of attire.

Fr. Hardon on Angels.


Directing souls to approved sources.

If there was ever a time in human history when devotion to the angels was needed it is today. We are calling this the angelic apostolate. What do we mean? We mean sharing with others what our faith teaches us about the angelic world that surrounds us like the air we breathe.  Understand the Catholic Church’s teaching on angels and demons; live out this teaching in your own life, and share your faith convictions and practice with others.  This is easier said than done. One reason is so much confusion about who the angels are and what is their role in our lives. Another reason, as we have seen, is the flood of angelic writing that is literally drowning the literature of our day.
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One recommendation I strongly make: obtain a copy of the Catechism on the Angels compiled by the Opus Sanctorum Angelorum. It contains the six talks given by Pope John Paul II on the angels, and is indispensable as a basic manual for the angelic apostolate.  
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Satan knows that all the evil in the world begins with error. In other words, all sin in the human heart begins as untruth in the human mind. The secret of avoiding sin is to avoid error. There is no other way to do it. The devil knows this. That is why he is such a zealous propagandist of falsehood. - Fr. Hardon Archives
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"For our struggle is not with flesh and blood but with the principalities, with the powers, with the world rulers of this present darkness, with the evil spirits in the heavens." - Ephesians 6: 12

Holy Crap! Another cult tossed out on the trash-heap? Vatican warning on splinter group of Opus Angelorum.

The Vatican has warned Catholic bishops around the world to monitor carefully a secretive traditionalist sect which prays to angels to combat demons.


When personal piety and private devotion becomes a cult...

The Vatican has warned bishops worldwide against "deviant" behaviour by a small traditionalist Austrian movement that promotes devotion to the angels.
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A letter to the heads of bishops conferences by Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith chief Cardinal William Levada claims some members of the movement, including priests, carry out "activities that disturb the ecclesiastical community".
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Formed half a century ago in Austria and close to traditionalists, the Opus Angelorum association claims, among other things, that women who have had abortions are possessed by the devil.

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Advertisement: Story continues below Present in Europe, Asia and America, it counts about 140 members, including 80 priests, and is suspected of sectarianism.
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"Propaganda in favour of this deviant movement, which is outside all ecclesiastical control, is done in a very discreet way that suggests it is in full communion with the Catholic church," Levada wrote, calling on bishops to be watchful of disruptive activities and ban those they identify. - Source
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A cult within a cult?
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I may be mistaken, but I think the late Fr. Robert Fox, Fatima apologist and promoter of dubious mystics such as Fr. Gino, was a proponent of this movement. 
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People - watch out for cults, fringe groups and locutionists on the lamb...
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Several years ago, I had a priest friend who urged me to get involved with this group... He reacted as if I was resisting the Holy Spirit when I told him I had looked into the group and thought the spirituality was rather strange.
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Links:
BBC News

CDF Notice

Catholic Culture report

Diane at Te Deum gets it right

http://www.opusangelorum.org/

H/T PewsitterNews

Thursday, November 04, 2010

The Dead Zone: November



November is the month Catholics think about dead people and their own demise.
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Never looked at it that way?  That is not surprising.  Though we live in what moralists refer to as the culture of death, we the living often try to ignore its reality.  We call funerals a celebration of ones life, we say that someone passed away instead of died, we call killing babies in the womb choice, killing old people and the disabled is called euthanasia, and so on.  I also think we are especially good at denying our own death - a fact of life for women especially, which happens to be great for the cosmetic industry.
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Preparation for death.
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So anyway - thinking about dying is a good thing, a prudent thing - it is a very Catholic thing.  That is why saints are often showing holding skulls - they contemplated their mortality.  We are going to die.  Praying for the grace of a happy death is a very important prayer.  Otherwise known as final perseverance, the grace of a happy death means dying in the state of grace.  It is a matter of eternal life or death.
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It occurred to me that the parable of the dishonest steward (we'll hear it Friday) can be likened to a man's preparation for death.  "Prepare a full account of your stewardship" because you're going to die.  [Luke 16: 1-8]  So the steward goes about making amends, tidying up accounts, forgiving his debtors and in turn asking forgiveness for his debts.  (One is free to piously ascribe such reasoning in private meditation.)  In the end, we hear how pleasing the dishonest steward's actions were to his master... because he acted prudently.
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Charity believes all things, hopes all things.
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I have been criticized for going soft on a few so-called 'bad' people in the Church; priests, church workers and diverse laity.  In light of my own dishonest stewardship in life, I hope I have been acting in good faith... recalling as I do how I too was once welcomed back into the Church - through no merit of my own of course - while not fully comprehending (nor ready to do so) all that was asked of me.  Every day in fact, it remains the same, I fall every day.  Although the astonishment over the fact that "Christ welcomes sinners and eats with them" as today's Gospel reminds us, remains with me each day...
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Whatever gains I had, I consider as loss... [Philippians 3:3-8a]
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I hope to arrive at that annihilation which St. Paul talks about - so that I can no longer look down on anyone.  Pride is so wretched and cunning however, it is I believe the reason St. Paul urges us to "work out our salvation in fear and trembling."  As the prophet tells us, nothing is more treacherous than the human heart, and how easily we can be deceived by self-righteousness, envy, jealousy, anger, resentment, rancour, remembrance of wrongs... leading us to defame and detract our neighbors, our competition, our masters and fellow servants.  In pointing out the truth of other people's errors, we often do not know what spirit motivates us.  In seeking to do good, we may be acting out of evil motives - "it is out of the heart that evil thoughts come..." [Matt. 15:19]
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The accuser of our brothers is cast out.
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The accuser is the devil of course.  The devil loves ad hominem attacks.  The Holy Spirit doesn't.  It is good to settle accounts on our way to the magistrate, while there is still time... because if the Lord marks iniquities who can stand? [Ps. 130]
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Lord who can be admitted to your tent
and dwell on your holy mountain?
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He who walks without fault;
he who acts with justice
and speaks the truth from his heart;
he who does not slander with his tongue;
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he who does no wrong to his brother,
who casts no slur on his neighbor... Ps. 15

The 'eccentric' Fr. Reginald Foster, ocd

Latinist, nudist... but no modernist? 
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I wouldn't bet the farm on that one.  What a character however - the man revered as the expert Latinist in Rome, translator to the Popes, who once said he enjoys saying Mass naked, seemed to have disparaged a return to the Latin Mass as well... 
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Quotables:
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He said reports that Pope Benedict will reintroduce the Tridentine Mass, which dates from 1570 and is largely conducted in Latin, were wrong – not least because of the Pope's desire to avoid more controversies. A speech last year offended Muslims and more recently he gave initial support to a Polish archbishop who was eventually forced to resign, after admitting that he had collaborated with the communist-era secret police.  "He is not going to do it," Fr Foster said. "He had trouble with Regensberg, and then trouble in Warsaw, and if he does this, all hell will break loose." In any case, he added: "It is a useless mass and the whole mentality is stupid. The idea of it is that things were better in the old days. It makes the Vatican look medieval." - By Malcolm Moore in Rome, Sunday Telegraph, 1/27/2007
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No one knows Latin like Reggie, but he doesn’t favors a return to Latin liturgy. Asked whether Latin is a sacred language?  “A sacred language? In the first century every prostitute in Rome spoke it fluently – and better than most people in the Roman Curia.” - Robert Mickens, “Letter from Rome,” Tablet.  It is my understanding this was a typical throw-out line to his students - Fr. Foster loved Latin from his youth. 
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Father Foster confided that he often celebrates Mass in the nude. "I'm a naturalist, I'm a nudist. I like to say Mass in the nude, too. If God doesn't like that sorry". - Angelqueen
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Anyway - see how we mustn't jump to conclusions about others based upon what they say or may do? Fr. Foster is a highly esteemed Catholic priest, scholar, and a Discalced Carmelite...

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H/T Thom for the 'Sacred language" quote.
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More positive spin on Fr. Foster at WDTPRS.

Wednesday, November 03, 2010

Peter Kreeft on Islam: WTF?



Kreeft's lastest book...

"Between Allah and Jesus: What Christians Can Learn from Muslims is devoted to the proposition that the things that we (Muslims and Christians) have in common are more important than the things that separate us. In fact, writes Kreeft in his Introduction, we have a lot to learn from Islam: “…I also say that Islam has great and deep resources of morality and sanctity that should inspire us and shame us and prod us to admiration and imitation.” Instead of fearing Islam, Kreeft says that Christians should join together with Muslims in an “ecumenical jihad” against our common enemies, sin and secularism." - Source
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Evidently we Christians misunderstand Islam...
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The Islamic State of Iraq, which has already claimed responsibility for Sunday's assault on a Catholic church Mass in downtown Baghdad, said its deadline for Egypt's Copts to release the women had expired and its fighters would attack Christians wherever they can be reached.  "We will open upon them (Christians) the doors of destruction and rivers of blood," the insurgent group said in a statement posted late Tuesday on militant websites. - Source
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The Christian community in Pakistan is shocked at increasing violence and abuse targeted at young Christian girls.  Two Christian girls were abducted, raped and murdered by a group of Muslims. A 13 year old became pregnant after being raped by a young Muslim. - Source
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Baghdad (AsiaNews / Agencies) – “The ultimatum made two days ago to the church of Egypt for the release of two Muslim women held prisoner, has expired. We have had no response and now you are all involved in the war on Islam , so be careful of the souls of your followers. " The so-called 'War Department' of the 'Islamic State of Iraq' (ISI) al-Qaeda in Iraq issued a statement on the Web to announce that the passing of the deadline of its "ultimatum" to the Egyptian Coptic Church to release two Egyptian women, Camilia Cheh and Wafa Constantine, wives of Coptic priests, whom according to the terrorists are detained against their will in a convent after converting to Islam.

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Their conversion has been denied by all the Islamic religious authorities in Egypt, and the Muslim Brotherhood have harshly attacked the authors of the massacre in Baghdad. Al-Qaeda, however, confirms that all Christians and their churches have become "legitimate targets" of the terrorist group and are therefore are in danger. The message issued today by the Iraqi cell of al-Qaeda also makes explicit reference to the Vatican. - Source
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Photo: Peter Kreeft, philosophy professor, Boston College, a highly respected voice in orthodox Catholic circles for his many books of Christian apologetics.
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H/T PewsittersNews

The day after: I like the headlines - Pelosi out.



It means we are still a democracy.
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I was especially pleased to note this headline:  "Gay marriage judges get boot in Iowa".  Gay marriage was legalized in Iowa - 'legislated from the bench' - against the will of the people.  These elections demonstrate that the people want change, but not the changes proposed by liberal politicians and judges.
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"It appears we're headed for a resounding victory tonight and a historic moment in the state of Iowa," said Bob Vander Plaats, the Sioux City businessman who led a campaign to remove the justices because of the 2009 gay marriage ruling. "The people of Iowa stood up in record numbers and sent a message ... that it is 'We the people,' not 'We the courts.' " - DesMoinesRegister.com
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In Minnesota we vote for judges as well - not in the same way Iowans voted yesterday - however, since unwanted laws have been forced upon Americans in and through legislation from the bench, perhaps we need to look more closely at the judges who are up for re-election these days.  It's an area of government not many of us know about - in fact most people do not know a thing about the judges on the ballot.  And while it is true the judge ought to be impartial and not an advocate for this or that social change - it is fairly obvious that is not always the case.
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BTW:  As of this writing, it is not clear who has won the Governor's race in Minnesota - it is very close and a recount will most likely take place.
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Image:  Actual photo of Nancy Pelosi's meltdown.

Tuesday, November 02, 2010

Former Speaker of the House: Nancy Pelosi's Reaction to the Mid-Term Elections.

The Poor Souls

"They seemed, in the view of the foolish, to be dead; and their passing away was thought an affliction and their going forth from us utter destruction.  But they are in peace." - Wisdom 3: 1-9

Conservative or Liberal: Two sides of the same coin.



Archbishop Dolan on Archbishop Weakland.

I found the following narrative on Vox Nova.  Some of you may find it rather moving...  I was troubled of course, in view of all the critical things I've ever written about Archbishop Weakland.
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On June 24, 2002, I arrived in Milwaukee on the day before the public announcement that I had been appointed as tenth archbishop of Milwaukee. I was a nervous wreck. I had a big job ahead of me, in an archdiocese I knew little about, in the midst of a time of national scandal, to follow a very prominent and long-serving Archbishop.
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But what made me most apprehensive with the prospect of meeting my predecessor. Archbishop Rembert Weakland had a national, actually international, stature; he had just resigned after acknowledging and apologizing for past sins; and, although I hardly knew him, word on the street was that we came from different “theological backgrounds,” which is a euphemistic way of saying that he was looked upon as a “liberal,” I as a “conservative.”
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His gracious hospitality that evening, substantive conversation, candid assessment of the challenges awaiting me, and his assurances of ongoing support, made me feel very welcome, and softened considerably the nervousness I was experiencing. But, what really gave me peace and confidence came early the next morning.
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I couldn’t sleep, and I was anticipating controversial questions at the press conference. Plus, I was still unsure about how my predecessor and I would get along. By 4:00 a.m. I gave up on sleep. I got out of bed, showered, dressed, grabbed my breviary, and made my way, at about 4:45 in the morning, to the little chapel downstairs… and there sat Rembert Weakland, with his breviary, before the Blessed Sacrament in the tabernacle. My fears evaporated. Between the two of us was a difference in age of about twenty-five years, in weight of about sixty pounds, a variation of theological outlook probably. But it was suddenly and dramatically evident to me that we were one in our faith, our priestly vocation, our apostolic bond, our prayer, and our trust in Jesus, really and truly present in the Most Blessed Sacrament. - Vox Nova

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"Charity believes all things." - 1 Corinthians 13:7
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Photo:  Archbishop Dolan

All Souls

"The souls of the just are in the hand of God, and no torment shall touch them..." - Wisom 3:1-9

Serious Politics, Serious News: Cher on Sarah Palin


Snap out it!
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Cher on Sarah Palin and Jan Brewer:
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“I got so obsessed with [C-SPAN] that it was kind of interfering with my life. Sarah Palin came on, and I thought, Oh, shucks, this is the end. Because a dumb woman is a dumb woman.” On the subject of Arizona governor Jan Brewer, Cher says, “She was worse than Sarah Palin, if that is possible. This woman was like a deer in headlights. She’s got a handle on the services of the state, and I would not let her handle the remote control.” - Vanity Fair
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Dumb and dumber...  The pot calling the kettle black...  Girl, you keep talkin' but you ain't sayin' nothin'!
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Poor stupid Cher.
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Well, she is amusing.
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N.B.  So anyway - vote today!  I'm voting a straight pro-life, pro-normal- marriage ticket. 
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Oh!  Oh!  And here's another 'changed my mind about something' fact:  After enduring an excruciating campaign season of unwanted multi-million dollar ads of BS shoved down my throat - I've come to the conclusion Michelle Bachman comes off as a genius compared to all the other jerks running for office in Minnesota.  Unfortunately I'm not in Bachman's district.

If I should forget you Jerusalem...



Let my right hand wither...
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All Souls day... and the day after the new martyrs of Baghdad. 
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"By the rivers of Babylon
there we sat and wept,
remembering Zion;
on the poplars that grew there
we hung up our harps.

O how could we sing
the song of the Lord
on alien soil?
If I forget you, Jerusalem,
let my right hand wither!" - Ps. 137
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Three priests among those dead in Baghdad.

Monday, November 01, 2010

"The good will be martyred..."



BAGHDAD (AP) - The death toll from the bloody siege of a Baghdad church rose Monday to 39 dead with dozens more injured, Iraqi officials said.
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The standoff began at dusk Sunday when militants wearing suicide vests and armed with grenades attacked the nearby Iraqi stock exchange and then entered the nearby Our Lady of Deliverance church - one of Baghdad's main Catholic places of worship - taking about 120 Christians hostage.

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Officials said at least one priest and nine policemen were among the dead. Many of the wounded were women.  A cryptically worded statement posted late Sunday on a militant website allegedly by the Islamic State of Iraq appeared to claim responsibility for the attack. The group, which is linked to al-Qaida in Iraq, said it would "exterminate Iraqi Christians" if Muslim women are not freed within 48 hours from churches in Egypt. - Source

File photo: Assyrian Catholic, OL of Salvation church, Bagdad

All Saints Day


The holy day of All Saints falls on a Monday this year, therefore it is not a holy day of obligation for Catholics in the United States - don't let the very, very pious guilt you otherwise.  You are free to go to Mass however.
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Happy feast day to all!  Let's pray for one another that we will be faithful and have the grace to persevere so that we might be made worthy to share the lot of the saints in light.

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Special-ed

What?
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I love these guys.  I miss President Bush.

My huge public apology to the Basilica of St. Mary, Co-Cathedral of the Archdiocese of St. Paul-Minneapolis



I knew, without doubt, that I was in a Roman Catholic church.
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I visited the beautiful Basilica of St. Mary this afternoon as they were preparing the sanctuary for vespers.  I just happened to be in the neighborhood and stopped in for a prayerful visit.  I was astonished at the interior beauty of the Church.  It seemed as if candles were glowing everywhere, glittering votive and tall altar candles burned softly in all of the chapels as well as on the main altar.  Unbeknown to me, the annual icon festival in celebration of the saints and in remembrance of the dead began today... I walked in on it amidst all of its splendor.
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I was literally brought to my knees, so moved by the beauty of the space.  I visited the magnificent new side shrine to Our Lady of Guadalupe with its full size mosaic replica of St. Juan Diego's tilma.  The image of the Virgin is an exact replica masterfully executed in mosaic.
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I spoke with a few basilica volunteers and was fortunate to meet the Liturgical Arts Director, Johan van Parys.  I congratulated Mr. van Parys for his wonderful contribution to the preservation and promotion of the sacred arts in his many years at the Basilica.  I found the Basilica and the staff to be very welcoming, warm and gracious. 
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I must admit I haven't visited the Basilica for over ten years, and yet I have at times dared criticise various  aspects of their outreach and ministry - without ever witnessing anything first hand.  For that I am very sorry.  Unfortunately I have allowed myself to become embroiled in debates concerning the Basilica's vast inner city mission, liturgical celebrations, and ministry to alienated Catholics.  Most recently I insensitively jumped on the band wagon criticizing the Basilica and an artist in residence who had been suspended from her position because she disagreed with the Archbishop's DVD in defense of marriage.  Of course I believe the Rector of the Basilica, Fr. Bauer acted responsibly in suspending the artist in view of a sculpture she intended to make in protest, and I support Fr. Bauer in what must have been a very difficult decision.  On the other hand, the artist was able to accomplish her project privately, and exhibited it at a secular gallery - which is her right, of course.  End of story.
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Going forward I hope to avoid rash judgements and divisive speculations regarding the diversity of parishes throughout this Archdiocese.  After all, we have an Archbishop very much in charge of doctrine, faith and morals.
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I have made it my aim to pray very much for each and every person, priest and laity alike I have ever criticized on this blog.  Please pray for me that I can be faithful and persevere.
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Today's first reading from Mass.  
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"God overlooks the sins of men that they may repent...
For you love all things that are
and loathe nothing you have made;
for what you hated you would not have fashioned?
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You rebuke offenders little by little,
warn them, and remind them of the sins
 they are committing 
that they may abandon their wickedness
and believe in you O Lord!" - Wisdom 11:22-12:2

Mass Chat: Let the chidden come to me... in their costumes.


"When I see children, I see the face of God." - Michael Jackson
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So anyway, last evening was the costume ball Mass at my parish.  I was not going to go but a friend said - that's your church, your community - you should be there.  So I went.
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The rehearsal for the kid's in the Halloween Costume Mass choir took place 20 minutes before Mass.  The flat screens were working with videos of kids singing and dancing to Disney style Hanna Montana rock music and the kids were gyrating and singing along.  During Mass the songs were not as raucous.  The church was packed and very noisy.  At the end of Mass all the little animals and witches and batmen and spidermen and queens and knights assembled on the sanctuary steps to pose for a group photo with Father and the deacons.  There had to be over a hundred kids.  Applause, applause, then final blessing.  Father had nicely pulled together the meaning of it all right before the blessing - although I can't recall what he said.
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I must say, the experience really wasn't all that bad.  I wasn't angry or upset and I was able to remain somewhat recollected - by the grace of God to be sure.  May He be praised forever.
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New photo.  Yes, one reader got tired of the smoking pope.

Reason # 1 for not handing out Halloween candy tonight...


Amongst the 'children' there could be a terrorist.  DO NOT ANSWER THE DOOR!  (Kids are vicious.)
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Works for me.